INDIANAPOLIS AT CHRISTMAS
My parents house at Christmas time is nothing short of magical. My mom is a Christmas legend among our friends and family. She puts so much love and detail into every decoration that you cannot help but smile as you enter the front door. She is the reason I love Christmas so much.
Except this past Christmas was a little different. From the outside, our house appeared the same. Same lights, same wreaths, same gorgeous old-fashioned tree lights peeking through the breakfast room window, but one thing was far from the same. Inside that house, we as a family were holding each other even closer than usual. We were trying our hardest to keep the Christmas magic alive. You see, the reason I love Christmas is because my mom loves Christmas and the reason my mom loves Christmas is because her mom (painfully past tense) loved Christmas.
Just 3 weeks prior, on my 27th birthday, my ever-so-loving Grandma Cyndy crossed over to the other side. Though we are lucky to have had the time we did share with her, it never feels like enough. I saw a quote recently that said, “As a grown-up, I have learned all that ‘Christmas magic’ I felt as a kid was really a mom who loved me so damn much.” This could not be more accurate. This past Christmas we still managed to feel the joy and spirit Christmas can bring to us and during these tough times, we needed it more than ever. We hung the same stockings, incorporated our favorites from my grandma’s Christmas collection in our own and filled the house with even more photos of her than before. Anything we could to feel her closeness though impossible.
I found these photos when going through my grandmothers things of her as a teen at Christmas. It is no surprise that the decor was over the top! The love of Christmas decor will be passed down for generations.
Last Christmas Eve, we went to Newfields lights with my grandma, went home opened gifts and had a delicious turkey dinner. This year, we wanted to keep this memory close so we decided to do Newfields again, have a delicious dinner at home prepared this time by Hannah and Aaron, and held a tree-lighting ceremony to honor the strong love we shared with my grandma on this special day. Though difficult, it was important for us to acknowledge this pain and feel her presence close to us.
Here is a photo from us just last Christmas at Newfields. Her mermaid blue eyeshadow and ruby red lips were as vibrant as ever.
Luckily for us we had three very loving pups at our house to keep us company all week.
On December 23rd, the Kennedy and Wallin families joined for a dinner at Napolese. We moved the after party to our house. A “chill” gathering quickly turned into normal joyous Christmas festivities filled with close friends and family. Though I was worried of it overwhelming my mom, it ended up being the fuel she needed to keep us going. We needed our house to feel alive again.
Beatrix got a new sweater as a Christmas sweater so naturally a photoshoot happened. No apologies here.
These girls have been my rock for well over a decade and I am so so lucky for that. The day after Christmas we met at Blue Sushi at Ironworks (including my main gals Melissa and Rina) then we decided to head up to Provision for a night cap. That night cap turned into many extended hours of just being together and it felt so comforting as always!
As the dust settled and the Christmas decor begins to come down, the fear of true grief settling in becomes heavy. We have strength in numbers so Cameron and I were fortunate enough to work from home the week after Christmas and stay close to home. We hit up our favorite Indy joints like Gallery Pastry Shop and Petite Chou <3. My mom and I did some serious retail therapy damage and added to our already plentiful Christmas decor collection. I look forward to the day where I can proudly display my new Christmas decorations alongside my treasured Santa collection I hand-picked from my grandmas Santa collection. It will be an honor to carry her love of Christmas with me for the rest of my life. Thank you Mom and Dad for making every trip home wonderful regardless to what we are facing.
I miss you every single day, Grandma. I miss our long, windy talks. I could tell you almost everything. You were my fellow gossip queen. This gaping hole in my heart will never feel the same. When I long for your unconditional love, I am reminded how lucky I am to be raised by you and to have someone so special in my life for 27 years to the day.